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Play by Play
what really happens
during
You Have the RIGHT to Remain SILENT!
The
doors to the Professor Avenue Theater open at 10:30 PM. When you walk
in, you find yourself practically on the stage of the cozy 50 seat performance
space. The Main Room is a refurbished bar, and still looks like one,
sort of elegant and seedy at the same time. The walls are panelled with
warm mahogany wood. The floor is tiled in a checker-board style and
the ceiling is sculpted tin.
You, the potential audience member, not given much chance yet to appreciate any of this, are asked by a Guerrilla Theater Member whether or not you came prepared for the "Theme of the Week". Say the Theme is "cartoons", now is the time to show off your Spider-Man comic book, Mickey Mouse T-shirt or Dick Tracy figurine. If you brought something like this you will be asked for your five dollar admission. If you are lacking, you will have to pay seven dollars. Either way, you are then handed a program, a 3 x 5 card and a pencil. The 3 x 5 card is for writing down a "Thought". This could be a quote, original or not, a phrase, a single word -- anything really. You will also be asked to write down your name. The card is then placed in a plastic pumpkin, but you get to hang onto your pencil -- it will be needed later. You are then free to sit somewhere among the fifty seats in the Main Room.
Sometime before the show begins at 11 PM, another Guerrilla Theater Company member will approach you, and begin to get to know you. You may volunteer as much information as you feel comfortable sharing.
Promptly at 11 PM the house lights will be turned out, the stage lights brought up, and the "You Have the Right to Remain Silent Theme Music" will begin. All Guerrilla Theater Company Members will run on stage and the designated "Director of the Week" will announce the show's start and explain the rules of the game. They are as follows:
"If you turn to the center of your program, you will find what we call the 'HIT List'. Hits are what we do. They are short sketches we will perform very very fast. They are called 'hits' because you know when one starts when I yell 'Hit!' and when one is finished when I yell 'Run!'. We will perform 21 hits tonight.
"You may notice there are 24 titles on your HIT List, that's because three are "misses". A Miss is a title with no play attached to it. We will be playing games with you, the audience, to choose each hit, and if you choose a miss, we'll play the theme song, and bring you up here on stage to spin our own 'Wheel of Misfortune'..."
It's at this point that the Director of the Week will step back to spin The Wheel, a multi-colored affair, displaying the faces of the Guerrilla Theater Company, and a helmeted gorilla.
"If it lands on a Guerrilla Theater Company Member, you will be handed a script and get to perform that script with that Company Member. As a reward, you will get a nice prize. If the Wheel lands on the Gorilla's head, you get the shirt off the Gorilla's back."
All Company Members step back to reveal the life-size stuffed gorilla, sporting a Guerrilla Theater Company T-shirt.
"You can keep this shirt, at a ten dollar value, or you can trade it for what's behind Door Number Two!"
Everyone's
attention is then drawn to Door Number Two, a rainbow colored affair
with a big 2 on it. "No one gets to find out what's behind Door Number
Two unless they trade the shirt for it. Now, we will be playing three
rounds of games, the first being 'The Quotation Round'. You each wrote
something on cards before the show started, I will ask two Guerrillas
to come up here and read two of these quotes, and audience reaction
will determine who gets to pick the next Hit. Let us begin."
And that's precisely what happens. Two quotes are read, the audience chooses which they like best through yelling and clapping, and the author is asked to stand up and pick one of the titles off of the HIT List. That Hit is swiftly performed.
This process continues, quotes and hits, unless it's interrupted by someone picking a Miss, when what was promised will happen, happens. The Quotation Round lasts for eight Hits and/or Misses. The end of a round is announced by a very loud and unusual sound effect, like the Dying Camel or A Body Falling Down Stairs.
The second round is "The Lightning Round". The audience member who attracts attention to themselves in the loudest, most annoying and fastest manner gets to choose the next Hit.
The third round is "The Trivia Round". Guerrilla Theater Company Members ask trivia questions dealing with the Theme of the Week, and the audience member who answers first and correctly picks the next Hit.
At any time an audience member may refuse to choose a Hit by "Exercising the Right to Remain Silent". The duty of choosing a Hit is then passed to the person sitting immediately to their left.
Once all 24 Hits/Misses are through, the Post Show music starts, the Director of the Week announces that each week the Company discards seven Hits and installs seven brand new ones, and tells you what the Theme of the Week for next weekend will be. The Company will then begin dancing and you are invited to stay and talk or are free to leave.
Last update: February 16, 1993